Pregnancy Dreams

No one ever told me about pregnancy dreams, accept for Jenny McCarthy. She has such a good book to prepare you for all the funny, scary, and gross things about pregnancy (thanks Tash!). Now I, even when not pregnant, ALWAYS have the craziest and most detailed dreams...every. single. night. I wake up every morning and tell Gian my dreams, he usually thinks I am really weird or really a big liar. But it's true, I just have incredibly weird dreams, and if they are particularly sad or scary and troubling, they usually stay with me throughout the whole day.

When I was really little I remember I had a dream where I had two moms: my real life mom, and a dream mom. And at one point in the dream, I had to choose between the two. I was on the deck in our old house (which we moved out of when I was 3 so I am suprised I remembered it enough for a dream) and on the side of the deck which I was on, I was with the dream mom. My real life mom was on the other side of the deck. I wanted to get to the other side of the deck because I had chosen to be with my real life mom, but in between us were piles and piles of snakes and the only way to get across was to step over them. I always wake up before the dream is resolved, by the way, and so I don't know if I ever got to the other side. But that morning I ran to my mom crying and told her the dream and that I didn't want to choose between her and anyone else, blah, blah, blah. This became a joke between the two of us and my mom brings it up randomly when I am mad at her.

Point being, when I read Jenny McCarthy's chapter on pregnancy dreams, I knew some interesting stuff was coming my way. Finally, last night, I had TWO:

Dream no.1:
It was the first night after I delivered my baby and we were in the US at my parents house. I feel asleep on the bed with my newborn GIRL (I dreamt she was a girl and before I told this dream to Gian he rolled over and said "today I feel like it is a girl") in my arms. I woke up in the morning and she was gone. At first I thought I had suffocated her (this is one of my biggest fears for when she is born, I keep playing it over and over in my head after hearing horror stories) or that I had rolled over her. But then I saw someone had put her in her crib. But at closer inspection she was a 4 year-old-dark-skinned-maybe-Peruvian-looking girl. And she had crumbs in her hair, which grossed me out. I quickly ran downstairs to tell my mom (when I told Gian this part of the dream he got mad at me for not waking him up first). She was doing the dishes as I told her what I had just found: a 4-year old Peruvian girl in place of my new born baby. My mom just kept doing the dishes and didn't even look at me saying "Claudia, that IS your daughter. You are being silly, that is what she looked like when she was born". "She has a full set of TEETH mom!" She just kept denying it and so I knew she was hiding something.

Eventually she fessed up and said that she had given my newborn to her co-worker and given me her co-workers daughter instead, "because her co-worker wanted a newborn and I couldn't just say no, now could I?" YES, you could have said no! I kept saying that I had carried this baby in me for 9 months and how could she just give her away and that she better get me back my baby. She said "don't you feel sorry that no one wants the Peruvian girl?" I told her she was no longer my mom, cut out of my life and that she better get my baby back here by noon or I was calling the cops. She told me I was being dramatic and that it "wasn't that big a deal".

I ran upstairs to tell my dad. He was laying on his stomach (details, right cricket?)and I was like "Dad, mom switched out my bay for a 4 year old Peruvian girl." He goes, "Yeah I know, she asked me if I thought that was alright and I told her I thought it was completely fine, she could go ahead and do that." I was so mad I started screaming and then Antonio came in the room carrying laundry and I KNEW he would understand, because they don't do this in Italy, right? But as I was telling him, the real life Gian snored so LOUD he woke me from the dream. The issue was never resolved....

Dream no.2:
I caught my dad on the floor of our kitchen smoking crack cocaine out of a homemade pipe made of a straw and tin foil.