I am so sorry I haven't written to you in so long. I have been spending my days falling in love with you, with all your little rolls of fat, and your long fingers and toes. I have been learning what each of your different cries signifies, and am getting pretty good at calming you quickly. Now you are 4 days short of being a month old and it's time to play catch-up.
Let's start from the beginning.
As I have said, giving birth to you was the most beautiful experience of indescribable proportions. I still look at you and can't believe that you are made up of a little bit of me and a little bit of daddy. Nature is so incredible and it's something I didn't fully grasp at all until I held you for your first breath.
After delivery, your father went with you to have your first bath and to be checked by the doctors. You got a perfect report card from your pediatricians and everyone was so impressed with how quickly we both pulled off the delivery, how big you were, and how strong you are.
I went into my recovery room and met an English woman whose water had just broken. She went through about 3 hours of contractions in that room with us and later gave birth to Beatrice. We have already had 2 play dates with them. She is in the running for first girlfriend!
The hospital you were born in doesn't have a nursey, which is one of the things I loved about my experience there. I had 3 days of alone time with you right by my side. I hate sharing you! I was thrown into the world of mommyhood those first 3 days and had no choice but to figure everything out. Sink or swim! I remember you needed your diaper changed and I had to call a nurse to do it because I had no idea what to do, or was scared, maybe? I am a pro now!
I also was able to make sure nothing went into your mouth but my nipple! Breastfeeding you is the most important thing in my life right now. My day is shaped around making quality quiet time throughout the day for nursing you. It gives us a chance to close the door to everything going on and bond. Breastfeeding is another indescribable experience, and I cherish these moments with you. BUT, it hurts like heck and you really like to eat ALL the time. You have grown and gained so much weight already, which makes me proud of my milk :)
You are sleeping on my arm right now and I am typing with one hand. Your nose was clogged last night and I stayed up watching you sleep (badly) and breathe (badly). I am exhausted, but I am letting you sleep on my arm and not in your bed because it makes you feel better, and honestly it makes me feel better, too.
I will play more catch-up later.
I love you,
mommy
