13 weeks!!!!

Today, I step out of the 1st trimester, and into the 2nd, and am so happy for this!

This means that:
1. I can stop worrying about 1st trimester complications
2. Will have more energy
3. I can start my step classes again at the gym. I have been itching to get sweaty, and all I have been doing lately is swimming laps and walking the course at the park.
4. Have a pedi/mani
5. I got through the 1st trimester without ANY vomiting, nausea, etc. etc. I am a star!


Meanwhile, a lot has happened in the past few weeks, and I just haven't had any motivation to update the blog. Here goes,

1. I was discriminated against for the first time

I had been interviewing with this American university, John Cabot University, here in Rome since February (since way before I knew I was pregnant) and finally in April after 5 interviews and 5 practical exams, they offered me the job. They told me I was way above everyone else who applied, that they were so happy to have me join the team, took me on a tour and introduced me to everyone, had me join in a faculty-student meeting, and then I dropped the bomb to my boss. I told her I was pregnant.

At first she and the Manager of Executive Office and Personnel Relations were very positive "pregnancy is not a disease" and assured me that we could work out some plan one way or another and that I would start working May 5th. They asked me to hold off the weekend while they spoke to their Chief Officer of Operations and the President of the University to figure out the contract

Well, from there it just went downhill. I came in the following week and was basically interrogated my the COO, who is a male Italian, which may not be very relevant, but I think it is. He pretended at first to not know that I was pregnant and that this was just a routine interview (even though I had already been offered the job officially, by an email sent from the president's email address). Now, I knew he already knew I was pregnant because I was informed so right before the meeting. But for some reason, he insisted on playing this game. Creepy, right?

Once I told him I was pregnant he went into a whirlwind of inappropriate questions such as "What will you do on the crowded tram when you have a huge belly" and "Have you even thought about the implications of pregnancy and motherhood? What are your post-labour plans?" I told him that yes, "Obviously I had thought A LOT about many scenarios since the moment I found out I was pregnant, but that these discussions were usually held between me and my husband. And whether it is with your university or not, I will be working "post-labour".

The meeting with the President was more friendly, although in retrospect had to have been fake and superficial. When I got home, I sent him this email:

Dr. P,

I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to meet with me today. I really look forward to having the opportunity to work with you in the future.

I want to let you know something about me personally, that I didn't mention today.

As you know, "B" and I started interviewing in February. In mid April, I found out that I was pregnant. When "B" offered me the position, I told her that I had found out just a few days before that I was pregnant. I wanted to be honest from the beginning, as is my character, and I didn't want to lie about something that is actually a very positive thing happening in my life.

As I told "B", "K", and "A", I am a worker and a fighter and I do not think that there is any reason why being pregnant should stop me from working. Obviously, I have thought long and hard about this, and I know that I can handle this position, and handle it well, both before and after the new addition to my life.

I have spoken about options with "B" and "K" and have informed them that once my baby is 3-4 months old, I am prepared to have the baby in either a daycare center, or in my mother-in-law's care. I am committed to come back to work at JCU and be the best employee that I can be.

Since I had previously been offered the position by "B", and also had come in to JCU to turn in my documents and paperwork, I was under the impression that my meeting with you today would be to specifically touch on the fact that I was pregnant and talk about what type of contract would be the best option. Since this didn't happen, I wanted to put this out in the open for you now.

I hope that you will make the best decision based on my experience, references, writing and commitment to JCU, aside from the fact that I am pregnant.

Again, it was a pleasure meeting you today, and I thank you for your time.

Sincere regards,
Claudia Stevens



He responded with:

Dear Claudia,

It was also my pleasure to meet you today and to discuss your interest in JCU as a work place.

As I have told you in our meeting I have to decide where to put our limited resources between competing urgent positions which need to be filled. Obviously each sector sees a paramount urgency compared to others and tends to be enthusiastic, but I have to keep a bird’s eye view of the university’ needs and decide accordingly.

As far as you being pregnant, this is not a consideration that will enter in deciding which area of the university has the greatest need at the moment.

I am also sure that you understand well that as legal representative of the University I am the sole authority empowered to make hiring decisions, and anybody else is speaking for his or herself, and not authorized to make commitments for the University.

Today we had our first meeting, and I was I believe quite open and transparent in informing you of my position concerning this job opportunity.

I will be happy to communicate a final decision to you early next week.

It was a pleasure to meet you and let me extend to you my very best regards,

Franco P.


2 points:

1. I have never heard of a President doing the entry level hiring, and any offer made from an official email account is legal, especially one that is titled president@jcu.edu.

2. I actually have 2 emails proving that they offered me the position:

Hi Claudia,

I too am very pleased that you have accepted the position. Thanks for letting me know about the starting date. I’m sure that you will hear from Kathryne F. soon.

Best,

"B"

and from the address president@jcu.edu

Dear Claudia,

Congratulations on joining the John Cabot University team! we're all excited to welcome you aboard . . .

I was hoping we could get to work on drafting your official contract, starting date May 15. Would you be available to pass by our offices this Friday (April 23) around 3pm with your documents so that we may begin the process? We would need from you a carta d'identità or passport, your Codice Fiscale and your Italian working permit. Please let me know if you could come by the university this Friday. If that's impossible for you, we can find some other time next week to take care of these things.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon,
"K"

Manager of Executive Office and Personnel Relations

John Cabot University


Anyway, a week passed after my meeting with the President before I heard from them again, and I only heard from them because I kept emailing them. Eventually, the President's secretary answered one of my calls and said that the President was out of the country on a financial emergency for the University and that they were putting a hold on all hiring until further notice. CONVENIENT. We contacted our lawyer, but at the end just said to hell with them, I don't want to work there anyway. I would have thought an American university, or educational institution and higher-level learning environment, would have had more prestige, understanding, and class than that. Guess not!


2. I had my 2nd sonogram

Sonograms are really God's modern gift to moms. It is the most AMAZING experience to be able to not only see your baby, but to watch it move, to poke your stomach and see it react, and to hear its heartbeat. Now, I wasn't into this whole mommy thing in the beginning, but I am FULL BLOWN excited and so mommyish now. When I am on the phone with ex-colleagues (and great friends) from the UN who talk about mobile distributions in Haiti, or emergency preparedness in Niger, or how the Price of somewhere in the UK is visiting their office, all I can respond with is "this week my baby has grown to 3 inches from crown to rump" which means nothing to them. But my friends here do a really good job at being interested and listening to me and asking questions and wanting to spend time with me. I am very lucky!

Ok onto the sonogram:
Since my mother-in-law works at the hospital, she brought me in after hours to have a special sonogram which lasts 1 hour and tests for certain chromosomal diseases. I was so lucky because since it was after hours, and I am the daughter-in-law of the favoured obstetrician, I had the 2 top OBGYN doctors doing my sonogram, 1 of which is the professor (it is a teaching hospital) of reading and analyzing sonograms. They just played around with my uterus while I watched. At first the baby was asleep, with his legs crossed, with one hand on his knee, and one hand on his tummy. The doctor wanted him (I am going to refer to the baby as him until we find out the sex, it is just easier!) to wake up so he started jabbing my uterus with the sonogram joystick (I have no idea what it's called) which kind of hurt, to be honest. The baby was resisting to wake up, and he moved the hand from his belly up to his face as if he was rubbing his eyes or something! It was so cute!

Everything with baby was PERFECT, both doctors said. Not just the sonogram, but all blood work and urine tests came back outstanding! No problems what-so-ever. Then I had to find out how much weight I had gained. I went to the bathroom trying to push out any extra weight (I said I would be honest!) and started jumping up and down to burn off any calories I could. I was so scared of my mother-in-law. She is from the old school where doctors think that it is really bad to gain over 25 pounds during pregnancy.

On top of that, I don't weigh myself. EVER. So I had no idea how much weight I had gained. However, the only time I do weigh myself, is when I go home to the States. I weigh myself when I get there, and when I leave, to see how much I have gained and have a laugh. I swore off scales long ago as I think they bring bad energy and just make me obsessive. Your weight doesn't matter, but how tight your jeans and underwear are, does! Since I had just arrived back from the states, I knew my weight and told the doctor that number. And...drum roll please...

I only gained 3.1 pounds in my first trimester, and I was weighed at night! The doctor said for my height and pre-pregnancy weight, this is just perfect.

Everything is perfect!

Here are some 13 week belly shots: