Just false labor!

Still nothing...

The beginning?

Over night I was awake for a few hours with bad cramping (like menstrual cramps) and today I have been feeling a lot of pressure in the general baby making area. I don't know how to tell if they are contractions. I just feel mostly pressure, but not a lot of pain. Maybe this is the very beginning of the long road that is baby labor?

My recent fears are:

-going into labor without having eaten my most recent meal

-going into labor with dirty hair

So I am constantly eating and washing my hair.

Stay tuned! Here are my most recent belly pics at 39 weeks:

39 weeks

My mom has been in town and we have been on the go, running around getting things done (last minute baby stuff, baby exams, etc) and also just generally spending some quality time together, so I haven't had a chance to properly sit down and blog.

The rundown is that I have been having NO contractions and just feel pretty normal, albeit huge and uncomfortable, but overall not at all like this baby is coming anytime soon. Every day we go for a long walk at the park near my house (over an hour a day) but he isn't budging.

Here are a few pics of our Sunday at the park:


Only in Italy will you find an 80 year old woman walking with a cane and 3 inch high heels on bumpy terrain

37-38 week pics

Here is my belly at 37 weeks:







And 38 + 2 days:



Didn't he push out a lot in the past week? I feel huge. NOTHING fits. I can only wear tennis shoes and ugly, baggy clothes because I refuse to buy anything new. Today I went to the doctor again to monitor Gabi's heart rate, fetal movements, and my contractions. This is something I will be doing once a week until go time. Everything was normal and he moved a lot, showing off for the doctors. I showed NO signs of contractions, so I guess this baby isn't coming early afterall. I really was hoping he would come early because my mom is here only until December 4th. I am due 14 November. The docs won't induce me until 10 days after my due date, so if this baby decides to chill in placentaville past his due, it would only give my mom 10 days to get to know the baby (and HELP! me).

Here's to the waiting game....

I feel like a horse

I feel like I have been pregnant for FOREVER. Like years. Aren't horses pregnant for like 2 years or something? Maybe I should have googled this, but I am pretty sure none of you know either (except for one of you, you know who you are!).

I think also because ever since I found out (at 6 weeks), we have been so vocal about it, telling everyone and starting a really obnoxious and narcissistic blog all about myself, everyone else is sick of me being pregnant, too. I feel like I have been tooting my own horn for too long now. I want to start blogging about baby!

I can't wait to:
-do all of the obvious things moms want to do with babies (kiss feet, pinch butt, squeeze cheeks, etc)
-Eat a carbonara
-SLEEP ON MY BACK
-Take my shoes off by myself
-See my bikini area
-Hit the gym
-Stop eating for 2 (or 3/4/5)
-Stop talking about being pregnant

Etc

Etc

The simple things in life, my friends....the simple things....

Baby shower

Here are a few pics from my baby shower that Dani hosted for me when she was in town:




Pregnancy nose?

Open Letter to Gabriel

Gabriel, my little boy,

My purpose for this blog started off as a way to keep our family and friends in the US updated throughout my pregnancy; I hate writing emails. But it turned into so much more for me personally. It has given me a chance to vent, to reach out to other moms, and to put into writing feelings that I have had a hard time expressing verbally. It is my version of a baby book for you, Gabe, and I am going to have it printed every year into a little hardback.

Once you are old enough to read this, you will realize that I have not been secretive of my rollercoaster of emotions over the past 9 months. In a way, I am still in shock. I still wake up to my belly moving and have to remind myself that there is a baby in there. I have passed months of what I now think could be characterized as pregnancy depression where I wasn't always feeling the same things I heard other expectant moms feeling, and subsequently went through feelings of guilt and inadequacy instead. I had very weak moments where I questioned my life, my decision to stay in Italy and have a bi-cultural family, my role as a mother and wife, and my purpose in life in general. My honesty with it to you may be questioned by other people, but I am only able to be honest about it because of the way I feel now.

I cannot wait to meet you. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms, to be your mother, to have a stupid job where my 70,000 dollar masters degree means nothing, just so I can get out early and take you to soccer (or dance!) practice. My feelings have come completely full circle: whereas I once felt scared and depressed and lost and stuck, I now feel so expectant and so blessed and so excited. You are my purpose in life. And I realize it's ok to feel reluctant when big changes are happening, it's human, and probrably more women feel the same things I felt than are willing to admit, but the point is, after feeling that, I now am able to cherish these last few weeks with you in my belly so much more. I know also that the love I feel right now for you, will only grow stronger once I see your sweet face and chubby legs. I so look forward to falling in love with you all over again.

I promise to be as loving and understanding and supportive as my parents have been my whole life for me. I promise to kiss you every night before bed and tell you I love you at least once a day, and never to go to bed mad at you. I promise to support your dreams and activities as you grow and to teach you how to treat people. I promise to always love you and be there for you. I promise that you will have a wonderful father, as he is already a wonderful husband.

And, perhaps above all, I promise to always be honest with you.

Love,
Mom