I feel like I have been pregnant for FOREVER. Like years. Aren't horses pregnant for like 2 years or something? Maybe I should have googled this, but I am pretty sure none of you know either (except for one of you, you know who you are!).
I think also because ever since I found out (at 6 weeks), we have been so vocal about it, telling everyone and starting a really obnoxious and narcissistic blog all about myself, everyone else is sick of me being pregnant, too. I feel like I have been tooting my own horn for too long now. I want to start blogging about baby!
I can't wait to:
-do all of the obvious things moms want to do with babies (kiss feet, pinch butt, squeeze cheeks, etc)
-Eat a carbonara
-SLEEP ON MY BACK
-Take my shoes off by myself
-See my bikini area
-Hit the gym
-Stop eating for 2 (or 3/4/5)
-Stop talking about being pregnant
Etc
Etc
The simple things in life, my friends....the simple things....
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Baby shower
Here are a few pics from my baby shower that Dani hosted for me when she was in town:
Pregnancy nose?
Pregnancy nose?
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Open Letter to Gabriel
Gabriel, my little boy,
My purpose for this blog started off as a way to keep our family and friends in the US updated throughout my pregnancy; I hate writing emails. But it turned into so much more for me personally. It has given me a chance to vent, to reach out to other moms, and to put into writing feelings that I have had a hard time expressing verbally. It is my version of a baby book for you, Gabe, and I am going to have it printed every year into a little hardback.
Once you are old enough to read this, you will realize that I have not been secretive of my rollercoaster of emotions over the past 9 months. In a way, I am still in shock. I still wake up to my belly moving and have to remind myself that there is a baby in there. I have passed months of what I now think could be characterized as pregnancy depression where I wasn't always feeling the same things I heard other expectant moms feeling, and subsequently went through feelings of guilt and inadequacy instead. I had very weak moments where I questioned my life, my decision to stay in Italy and have a bi-cultural family, my role as a mother and wife, and my purpose in life in general. My honesty with it to you may be questioned by other people, but I am only able to be honest about it because of the way I feel now.
I cannot wait to meet you. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms, to be your mother, to have a stupid job where my 70,000 dollar masters degree means nothing, just so I can get out early and take you to soccer (or dance!) practice. My feelings have come completely full circle: whereas I once felt scared and depressed and lost and stuck, I now feel so expectant and so blessed and so excited. You are my purpose in life. And I realize it's ok to feel reluctant when big changes are happening, it's human, and probrably more women feel the same things I felt than are willing to admit, but the point is, after feeling that, I now am able to cherish these last few weeks with you in my belly so much more. I know also that the love I feel right now for you, will only grow stronger once I see your sweet face and chubby legs. I so look forward to falling in love with you all over again.
I promise to be as loving and understanding and supportive as my parents have been my whole life for me. I promise to kiss you every night before bed and tell you I love you at least once a day, and never to go to bed mad at you. I promise to support your dreams and activities as you grow and to teach you how to treat people. I promise to always love you and be there for you. I promise that you will have a wonderful father, as he is already a wonderful husband.
And, perhaps above all, I promise to always be honest with you.
Love,
Mom
My purpose for this blog started off as a way to keep our family and friends in the US updated throughout my pregnancy; I hate writing emails. But it turned into so much more for me personally. It has given me a chance to vent, to reach out to other moms, and to put into writing feelings that I have had a hard time expressing verbally. It is my version of a baby book for you, Gabe, and I am going to have it printed every year into a little hardback.
Once you are old enough to read this, you will realize that I have not been secretive of my rollercoaster of emotions over the past 9 months. In a way, I am still in shock. I still wake up to my belly moving and have to remind myself that there is a baby in there. I have passed months of what I now think could be characterized as pregnancy depression where I wasn't always feeling the same things I heard other expectant moms feeling, and subsequently went through feelings of guilt and inadequacy instead. I had very weak moments where I questioned my life, my decision to stay in Italy and have a bi-cultural family, my role as a mother and wife, and my purpose in life in general. My honesty with it to you may be questioned by other people, but I am only able to be honest about it because of the way I feel now.
I cannot wait to meet you. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms, to be your mother, to have a stupid job where my 70,000 dollar masters degree means nothing, just so I can get out early and take you to soccer (or dance!) practice. My feelings have come completely full circle: whereas I once felt scared and depressed and lost and stuck, I now feel so expectant and so blessed and so excited. You are my purpose in life. And I realize it's ok to feel reluctant when big changes are happening, it's human, and probrably more women feel the same things I felt than are willing to admit, but the point is, after feeling that, I now am able to cherish these last few weeks with you in my belly so much more. I know also that the love I feel right now for you, will only grow stronger once I see your sweet face and chubby legs. I so look forward to falling in love with you all over again.
I promise to be as loving and understanding and supportive as my parents have been my whole life for me. I promise to kiss you every night before bed and tell you I love you at least once a day, and never to go to bed mad at you. I promise to support your dreams and activities as you grow and to teach you how to treat people. I promise to always love you and be there for you. I promise that you will have a wonderful father, as he is already a wonderful husband.
And, perhaps above all, I promise to always be honest with you.
Love,
Mom
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
37 weeks!
I am full term! Thank God!
Yesterday I went to have an exam they do here in Italy where they monitor the baby's heartbeat, fetal movements, and my contractions for a 45 minute period of time. They do this to see the patterns in the heartbeat and fetal movements. It was so peaceful, just me and gabe in the room, that his swishing sounds and heartbeats put me to sleep for a few minutes! But it was incredible. I think I am still in shock that I am creating a living, heart beating human being in my belly. Like, how does that happen? Nature is so incredible. From a few cells, to a 4 kilo baby with lungs, a heart, a brain, in 9 months. Wow.
Everything is normal, and I didn't have any signs of contractions in those 45 minutes. However, this past weekend I am pretty sure I had contractions but they were weak and far between, so my midwife said they were just preparatory contractions, early signs of labor, but that doesn't mean I will necessarily be giving birth anytime soon. I continue to feel a lot of pressure down south and I can feel when he presses his head down. Also, I have had a few sharp pains in my hoo-haa, which my OBGYN said is the beginning of the cervix opening. I have an appointment tomorrow with him and he will check to see if I have dilated at all and just how far down my baby's head has dropped.
I am in full on nesting mode. I have never been so clean and organized in my life! I love it. The last few weeks of being pregnant is like natural adderall!
Stay tuned! We are VERY excited! Will post 37 weeks pics soon!
Yesterday I went to have an exam they do here in Italy where they monitor the baby's heartbeat, fetal movements, and my contractions for a 45 minute period of time. They do this to see the patterns in the heartbeat and fetal movements. It was so peaceful, just me and gabe in the room, that his swishing sounds and heartbeats put me to sleep for a few minutes! But it was incredible. I think I am still in shock that I am creating a living, heart beating human being in my belly. Like, how does that happen? Nature is so incredible. From a few cells, to a 4 kilo baby with lungs, a heart, a brain, in 9 months. Wow.
Everything is normal, and I didn't have any signs of contractions in those 45 minutes. However, this past weekend I am pretty sure I had contractions but they were weak and far between, so my midwife said they were just preparatory contractions, early signs of labor, but that doesn't mean I will necessarily be giving birth anytime soon. I continue to feel a lot of pressure down south and I can feel when he presses his head down. Also, I have had a few sharp pains in my hoo-haa, which my OBGYN said is the beginning of the cervix opening. I have an appointment tomorrow with him and he will check to see if I have dilated at all and just how far down my baby's head has dropped.
I am in full on nesting mode. I have never been so clean and organized in my life! I love it. The last few weeks of being pregnant is like natural adderall!
Stay tuned! We are VERY excited! Will post 37 weeks pics soon!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
36 weeks (plus 1 day)!!
Ah I can't believe we have already arrived at 36 weeks. It's true what everyone says, the last trimester goes by soooo fast. On the one hand, I am so excited to meet Gabriel, but on the other, I am really enjoying sleeping SO much these last few weeks. I went about a week without sleeping more than an hour or two a night because I was just so uncomfortable. Then my mother in law brought me the best sleep aid I have ever come across:
Fresh camomile from nonno Francesco's garden (my grandfather-in-law). I have a cup of this every night before I go to sleep and sleep the entire night, waking up only to relieve my bladder, but doing so in a semi haze and then I pass right out again. I have been sleeping at least 8-10 hours a night AND take a 2-3 hour nap after lunch. I am in heaven!
I was talking to a friend the other day and I told him, I just have nothing interesting to blog anymore. Hopefully this will change once Gabriel arrives, but in the mean time I leave you with my updated pics and my first peice of mom bling:
A friend of ours is a jewelry designer and he designed a necklace like this for his wife (my american-mommy friend) so Gian had him create one for me, as well. I love it!
Fresh camomile from nonno Francesco's garden (my grandfather-in-law). I have a cup of this every night before I go to sleep and sleep the entire night, waking up only to relieve my bladder, but doing so in a semi haze and then I pass right out again. I have been sleeping at least 8-10 hours a night AND take a 2-3 hour nap after lunch. I am in heaven!
I was talking to a friend the other day and I told him, I just have nothing interesting to blog anymore. Hopefully this will change once Gabriel arrives, but in the mean time I leave you with my updated pics and my first peice of mom bling:
A friend of ours is a jewelry designer and he designed a necklace like this for his wife (my american-mommy friend) so Gian had him create one for me, as well. I love it!
Monday, October 11, 2010
35 weeks!!!!!!!
NO BELLY BUTTON POP! I think I will be saved from having to see the bottomless pit.
Ah-2 weeks until full term. In Italy, they say you will have the same pregnancy your mom had. So far everything has gone much like my moms, neither of us had morning sickness or vomiting, neither of us gained much weight (mom you gained more weight than me, ha!), and I really feel that the baby is going to come early. I feel so much pressure on my lower body parts. My mom gave birth to both Daniela and myself at 37 weeks, so maybe I am in for a baby in just 2 weeks!
So far, I have gained about 15 pounds and I look at my body and must admit I feel great. I was so worried I would gain a lot of weight, as my body has a tendency to fluctuate in weight gain and loss, but I haven't. I really eat whatever I want, but thankfully I haven't had bad cravings. I eat pasta every day, but cooked at home with fresh, organic, locally grown vegetables and meats, which I think has been my saving grace. In Italy, the addition of growth hormones to animals, fruits, and vegetables is illegal. In America, it's par for the course. And if you want to eat organic in America, you have to pay a heavy price for it (WHOLE FOODS ANYONE??) In Italy, everything is organic by default. During pregnancy, we are already growing so much and have so many extra hormones in us naturally, so my personal opinion is that eating fruits, meats and veggies pumped with growth hormones would only make a woman grow more and bloat more during pregnancy.
Anyways, I am tired, my legs hurt, I am uncomfortable while sleeping, but I have never felt so ready and so happy in my pregnancy. Weekly maternity massages have helped!
And here is the big brother, ROMOLO, ready and waiting for baby Gabri!
Monday, October 4, 2010
Birthing Positions
As I have mentioned before, Gian and I started birthing classes and one of the areas we have been working on with the other moms is the possible birthing positions we can work with in the hospital. I have chosen not to give birth on a bed, but instead like a drunk girl squatting in a gutter: on a hard marble floor, with my husband holding me up for support.
Which coincidentally brings me full circle to when I found out I was pregnant, squatting on a public toilet in a pseudo-Mexican fast food chain restaurant in DC.
This is my favorite:
When I imagined giving birth as a young girl, I never imagined to be pushing a human being out of me as if I were making a bowel movement, but I guess it makes sense if you think about it. Just PUSH!
This too:
I am certainly hoping my husband gets on a yoga birthing ball and plays me a few show tunes.
This is not my husband, nor does he own a stool from the Keebler elf tree house.
Which coincidentally brings me full circle to when I found out I was pregnant, squatting on a public toilet in a pseudo-Mexican fast food chain restaurant in DC.
This is my favorite:
When I imagined giving birth as a young girl, I never imagined to be pushing a human being out of me as if I were making a bowel movement, but I guess it makes sense if you think about it. Just PUSH!
This too:
I am certainly hoping my husband gets on a yoga birthing ball and plays me a few show tunes.
This is not my husband, nor does he own a stool from the Keebler elf tree house.
34 weeks!
I had my mother in law here this past week and we got everything ready for baby. Clothes and sheets are washed and in plastic ziplock bags, my hospital bag is packed with everything I need and I have finally almost finished remodeling/furnishing the apartment to be baby-ready and mommy-efficient. Once I finish a few more details, I will either take some pictures or make a video of the improvements. We have a small apartment and I have organized ourselves in a way to make it work for our needs.
Our baby is supposedly going to come early! Not too long ago I had a sonogram and the Doctor said that the baby was already dropped, head in position. Now I can FEEL that he has dropped. My tummy looks lower and I can feel his head putting so much pressure against my bladder and other girly parts. Also my mother-in-law is a midwife (not an obstetritian, got the translation wrong) and after painfully poking around in my belly she says she thinks the baby will come between the 37th and 38th week. That would mean I would have the baby in 3 weeks! AH! Who knows if they are right; in the end Gabriel will come when he is ready. I just hope he sticks in there until my mom gets here the last few days of October.
Our baby is supposedly going to come early! Not too long ago I had a sonogram and the Doctor said that the baby was already dropped, head in position. Now I can FEEL that he has dropped. My tummy looks lower and I can feel his head putting so much pressure against my bladder and other girly parts. Also my mother-in-law is a midwife (not an obstetritian, got the translation wrong) and after painfully poking around in my belly she says she thinks the baby will come between the 37th and 38th week. That would mean I would have the baby in 3 weeks! AH! Who knows if they are right; in the end Gabriel will come when he is ready. I just hope he sticks in there until my mom gets here the last few days of October.
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