Playing catch-up: part I

Dear Gabriel,

I am so sorry I haven't written to you in so long. I have been spending my days falling in love with you, with all your little rolls of fat, and your long fingers and toes. I have been learning what each of your different cries signifies, and am getting pretty good at calming you quickly. Now you are 4 days short of being a month old and it's time to play catch-up.

Let's start from the beginning.

As I have said, giving birth to you was the most beautiful experience of indescribable proportions. I still look at you and can't believe that you are made up of a little bit of me and a little bit of daddy. Nature is so incredible and it's something I didn't fully grasp at all until I held you for your first breath.

After delivery, your father went with you to have your first bath and to be checked by the doctors. You got a perfect report card from your pediatricians and everyone was so impressed with how quickly we both pulled off the delivery, how big you were, and how strong you are.

I went into my recovery room and met an English woman whose water had just broken. She went through about 3 hours of contractions in that room with us and later gave birth to Beatrice. We have already had 2 play dates with them. She is in the running for first girlfriend!

The hospital you were born in doesn't have a nursey, which is one of the things I loved about my experience there. I had 3 days of alone time with you right by my side. I hate sharing you! I was thrown into the world of mommyhood those first 3 days and had no choice but to figure everything out. Sink or swim! I remember you needed your diaper changed and I had to call a nurse to do it because I had no idea what to do, or was scared, maybe? I am a pro now!

I also was able to make sure nothing went into your mouth but my nipple! Breastfeeding you is the most important thing in my life right now. My day is shaped around making quality quiet time throughout the day for nursing you. It gives us a chance to close the door to everything going on and bond. Breastfeeding is another indescribable experience, and I cherish these moments with you. BUT, it hurts like heck and you really like to eat ALL the time. You have grown and gained so much weight already, which makes me proud of my milk :)

You are sleeping on my arm right now and I am typing with one hand. Your nose was clogged last night and I stayed up watching you sleep (badly) and breathe (badly). I am exhausted, but I am letting you sleep on my arm and not in your bed because it makes you feel better, and honestly it makes me feel better, too.

I will play more catch-up later.

I love you,
mommy

Gabi's stats

Everyone keeps asking and I keep forgetting to mention...


Gabriel weighed in at 3.915 kilos (8.63 pounds) and 55 centimeters (21.6 inches)

Our birthing story

Ok I figure a week is enough to get over the initial shock of giving birth...time to write about it.

As I said in the last post, I woke up Thursday morning with tell tale labor signs. Knowing it could still take days to deliver, I assured Gian that he could go to work and I would call him with updates. The day went on normally and my mom and I went for a long walk to encourage the baby along. Around 6:30 pm I called Gian and told him that my contractions were very weak but becoming more regular and averaging around ten minutes apart. I wanted to at least go to the hospital and have the experts tell me whether or not I was in labor. Gian came home and we decided to park the car in Trastevere (we live right above Trastevere in Monteverde) and walk the 15 minutes to the island hospital since I felt good and wanted to help speed along my labor. The entire walk there was calm and I was very excited. I kept thinking, if this really is labor, I can totally handle this without an epidural! HA!!

Once we got there, we very calmly checked into triage and they hooked me up to a machine which read my contractions and the baby's heart rate for about 30 minutes. Then they checked my cervix. I wasn't dilated at all and my contractions, though close together, weren't very strong. They decided to discharge me and send me home. The doctor told me since this was my first birth, I could go on like this for a few days. I told him I had a feeling we would be seeing each other sooner than he thought.

We left and started walking back to the car. On our way there, my contractions started getting stronger, and actually a little painful. Where I was walking and laughing through the contractions before, I now had to stop and breathe through them. They were also getting closer together.

We stopped and bought a bottle of wine and decided to grab some pizza at a local place near our house. Gian dropped me and my mom at our building and drove off to park the car and grab the pizza. As I was getting my keys out, I felt a rush of wet warmth on my jeans! I knew my water had finally broken. At the same time I had a horribly strong contraction and felt like I couldn't even walk! My mom didn't know where the pizza place was so I had to run to the restaurant with wet pants and in the middle of a very strong contraction.

When I got there I saw Gian and yelled out "my water broke" in English and with extreme pain and discomfort on my face. I must have looked so desperate (and I was) because the pizza guy looked at Gian with a face like who is this woman and what does she want? Gian said "Her water broke" in Italian and then proceeded to calmly pay and wait for the pizza to be wrapped up nicely. Then we ran to the car and Gian drove like a madman to the hospital. I told him that I knew the baby was well on his way. At this point I was feeling so much pain, there was no way that I wasn't dilated.

We got back to the hospital and they checked me in again. In that 45 minutes it took to leave the hospital and come back, I had already dilated about 3 centimeters, which is fast. I went out to the waiting room to tell my mom and Gian what was going on, and waiting for the wheelchair to take me up to the delivery room. I was in ridiculous pain. Gian and my mom would try to comfort me by rubbing my back and I would scream at them to not touch me. I feel very badly about it now, but I just was going into a panic.

Once I got up to the delivery room I was in a complete, full on panic attack. I didn't know what to do, what to think, how to breathe. I felt like I was in some torture movie. I was banging on the walls and screaming that I couldn't do this. As much as I felt the pain, I also felt like it wasn't really happening to me, like I was having an out of body experience. I walked into my room and said "Give me an epidural now" and they said they had to wait to examine me first and so I said "well then give me a C-SECTIONNNNNNNN, now!!!!!" Anyways, once I had the epidural, I was able to calm down and be in the moment. I still felt A LOT of pain though, girls, so don't be disillusioned into believing that an epidural takes away the pain. For me, it just took away the panic and allowed me to focus. But I was in an extreme amount of pain.

I was dilated to 10 centimeters within 3 hours and only had to push for about 30 minutes. My entire labor was just under 4 hours. For those of you that don't know, that is extremely quick for a first time mom. I am so proud of myself because I was really strong and was able to really focus on pushing and breathing through the pain. Gian was also so supportive in the delivery room, talking to me through everything and reminding me of what we learned in our breathing classes. He let me squeeze his hand as hard as I could! He even videotaped a lot of the evening. We have memories that will last forever.

Part of our life plan is to have 3 children, but during labor I kept telling Gian that Gabriel was going to be an only child. I was convinced that I wouldn't be having any more children. But now, I have forgotten all the pain, and can't wait to introduce more children into our family (all in due time). Having a child, especially going through the labor, is the most beautiful experience in life. It is impossible to put into words. Gian and I are so much closer now after going through those 4 hours together in the delivery room. We watched the birth of our son together, watched him take his first breath, scream his first scream, and it was an impossibly difficult time but I got through it with his support and encouragement. It was and will always be the best day of my life. Welcome baby Gabriel, we love you so much!

This is it....I think?!?!?!

This morning I woke with a strong, very strong, contraction. I waited in bed and 10 minutes later I had another one. Got up, went to the bathroom, and saw some signs (you moms know what I am talking about) that I was in the beginning stages of labor. I called my midwife (my mother-in-law) and explained what I saw. She said it's the beginning of labor, and according to what I saw, the baby had definitely started to push his head hard against my cervix. But then the contractions stopped for over 2 hours. Throughout the day, my contractions were at least 2 hours apart until recently, they started getting closer together. But the thing is they are quick and not excruciatingly painful, as I would expect. So I just don't know what to do...but I am so calm, in fact I even sent Gian off to work this morning because HE was stressing ME out! I just called him and told him to come home so we could go to the hospital and have them check my cervix. We were going to wait it out, but then my mom looked at me and said "if you go into labor here, we don't even have a pair of scissors to cut the umbilical cord" haha. Since ambulance time in Rome is really, really terrible, we figure better safe than sorry.

Here we go! Hopefully the next blog will be about my birthing story.

xoxo

40 weeks plus 3 days!!!

AHHHH I never thought I would be pregnant this long. I was convinced I would give birth before my due date...don't know why, but I just was. Well, I haven't. I am still huge. And yes I have already broken out my christmas pants.




In preparation for birth, I have been focusing a lot on keeping active, walking, stretching, and going to physical therapy for my back so that I won't have a hard time in the different birthing positions we have been practicing. Gianfrancesco has been hitting the gym because in one of the positions, he has to lift me from a squatting position to a standing position after each contraction. When we practiced in our birthing class, he had a hard time because, as you can see, I am already taller than him and pre-pregnancy weighed only a couple kilos less than him. Poor thing has to deal with lifting an awkwardly tall pregnant lady who has gained 10 kilos in 9 months. It can't be easy. Anyway, now he has these huge arms ready for lifting me. We are ready. House is ready, everything is ready. Just waiting for Gabriel.

If he hasn't come by Friday, we will meet with our doctor that afternoon to discuss our options. I really don't want to induce. I want that AHA moment where either my water breaks or I start having contractions and have to rush to the hospital. AND I feel sad to force my baby out if he isn't ready. But, there are tons of risks for leaving him in too long. I have been having my amniotic fluid levels checked regularly to make sure he is as safe as can be for the time being. We have also been having bi-weekly exams to check his movements and heartbeat over an extended period of time.

With all this extra time on our hands, we have been taking the opportunity to take as many cheesy pregnancy pics as possible:

40 weeks!

Tomorrow is my due date and I feel huge. Everyone keeps telling me I look like I am ready to pop, and I certainly feel ready. I have tried EVERYTHING that people suggest to help with jump-starting labor: spicy food, pineapple, skipping, walking (a LOT) taking the stairs (up to our 8th floor apartment at least once a day), coffee, bouncing on a yoga ball, and that one act that got me pregnant in the first place (minus the bad tequila shots in southern Thailand)....but NOTHING has worked.

I know it seems like I am rushing this baby along, but I have a major sciatica problem that gets worse every day as Gabriel gets bigger and lower, pressing even harder on my nerve. I am in constant pain and sometimes my right leg mini-collapses if the nerve is too inflamed. I just want to have my baby in my arms and start the new phase of this whole journey that is life and creating life, minus the back pain.

Ugh, enough of my rant.

Here are a few photos of our walk today on via Appia Antica, an old Roman road.

It was not the beginning....

I went to the doctor yesterday to monitor the baby's movements and my contractions. While Gabe is a major mover and shaker, I did not have any contractions during that period of time. Today I went to have my amniotic fluid and cervix checked. Cervix is still completely closed....no baby in sight!